Sometimes I write just for me and never tell anyone of the contents. Then other times I write just for others to see what's going on in my life. Am I happy or am I sad today are questions I ask myself before I write. It kind of sets the tone for my writing. Sometimes I wonder if I can be real when I write every time. I wonder because I have people who know me reading everything I write I think I tone down my writing at times. I don't wanna make people mad at me and I don't always wanna let everyone know what's going on in my head. As I've said to a very good friend lately I choose to say things when I feel the need or urge or maybe she said that to me. With that being said I sometimes feel that I'm being fake. I give just enough info to let you know me but not the full me. It's not a hiding behind the mask thing it's just a I'm taking my time to let you really know and understand me. If that means you know me for 6 months then find out my quirks and crazy thoughts then that's how I like it.
I have always had problems with letting people know my feelings up front, but once I let it be known it comes out like diarrhea. Am I protecting others from me or am I protecting myself. I always thought I was shy and have told many people that I meet I'm shy, but again this was dispelled by my friend T when she stated your not shy at all. I started to think and come to a conclusion that she was right. I'm really not shy just maybe a little reserved because I don't wanna be judged so fast. I don't hate rejection I just don't understand rejection. I mean I'm doing all I can to make someone feel comfortable and relaxed and I just want the same from the other person.
Again just writing but don't know what the hell I just said...
Jay
Ok so I reposted this cause the poetry was dead on and I thought others in my community would love to see it. I hope you enjoy it.
Jay
